Monday, July 18, 2005

One Track Mind

I have, once again, been accused of having the standard, single-track male mentality. To elaborate, a female companion jokingly accused me of thinking of nothing but sex.

Well. I NEVER! Humph...

I got a little bit indignant, and out from my mouth poured an analogy that simultaneously made me want to giggle and...have sex, and write it down for posterity.

The One Track Mind

All men have a one track mind. This isn't a track the way most women would have us believe; no, the single track of a man's mind is much more complex.

Envision a dog track. There are chutes out of which the dogs race. Each of these chutes can be viewed as a particular aspect of a man's life that progress along the track as his life progresses. The dogs change postition in the race just as surely as men change their minds, their ambitions and their priorities. And what is it that the dogs on the track are locked in on? What is their ultimate goal? They chase the rabbit. Heh. So do men, but by rabbit I mean sex, and by chase I mean they crave and sprint after it in fits of lust.

Some of the dogs that circle the track are named Car, Job, Career, Education, Taste, Smarts, Humor, Money, Baggage and Attraction. At alternately spaced intervals in the race, one or another of the dogs will ultimately "catch" the rabbit. Sometimes two of the dogs will reach it at the same time, and other times the rabbit may be too fast for any of the dogs.

The grandstands are filled with screaming fans. These fans root for their favorite dogs and contribute to the mayhem and cacophany that fills a track. These fans represent a man's conscience. Some days, there are more fans for a particular dog. That dog may win because of the extra support from his fan base.

The odds may start to favor certain dogs over others, and under dogs may begin to garner more support at times. Regardless of the certain compostition of the crowd on any given day, there are always thousands of voices reverberating with their particular wants and needs within the confines of a track. And a mans head.

Men always want that dog named Baggage in last place, and we could mostly care less which dog is winning as long as it reaches the intended goal.

But it's a lot more complicated than most women will give us credit for.