Wednesday, November 02, 2005

FEC mulls blogger exclusion

Political bloggers should not have their free speech rights infringed upon by campaign finance law, House lawmakers said Wednesday in debating legislation that critics said opens up a new loophole for uncontrolled campaign spending.
Well, no shit...

To think I read that whole article twice, and the part that caught my eye the most was "uncontrolled campaign spending."

Let me now, publicly, state my position on this issue.

I
WILL
SHILL
FOR
CASH

It's quite simple really. If you are the politico type with crazy campaign money that you need to use to get your name out there, I will whore myself and my unregulated 1st amendment rights out to you for a tidy sum.

I'll even manage to put up a post more often than once every couple of days if you want to throw some of those simoleons this way, gentlemen...or should I say Mr. President? (inside joke/reference) As long as you don't ask me to support a platform I oppose, I'm all yours, baby...

The bidding will begin at, shall we say, $852,000?

More

It seems Countertop wants in on the crazy campaign contributions, and he's outbidding me to do it. These 1A rights aren't cheap, and for much less than the current price, I'd be practically giving the blogrights away, but let it never be said I am unwilling to negotiate. I am a businessman last and worst, so here are my terms.

I hereby drop my price to $800,000 OR a completely catered luxury Skybox at Superbowl XL, staffed by Hooters girls and the bald guy from "Lost" as the bouncer. That'd be totally sweet, and by sweet, I mean totally cool.