Day 1361

I tried counseling my gun this morning. The must be some deeper, more existential reason for my gun's lack of violent outbursts. It can't be that all the "cold-hard-facts" about guns are wrong, can it? The Brady's would never lie to me, right?

Anyway, we had a little chat.

Me: So, where is your propensity for violence? Your killer instinct?
Gun: ...
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that...
Gun: ...
Me: ...
Gun: ...
Me: Don't look at me like that.
Gun: ...
Me: Er, ah...so, how 'bout them Chargers, eh?

Needless to say, it was a rather pointless chat.

For next week, I'm going to step it up. I've been frustrated by the complete lack of violence these inanimate objects are exhibiting, so I've been combing eBay for something - anything! - that will finally allow me to see these objects in the way the media and the Brady's see them. I'll keep you posted. Until next time, you stay classy, Planet Earth.