I Hate the New "Bond"

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It's a travesty, a sham, a mockery...a traveshamockery...to think that the new Bond is going to be short, blond and kinda stupid looking, to tell the truth. He lacks the intensity of Connery or Brosnan, and looks a little slow, though I'm sure the studios will edit it as best they can.

But what makes matters all the more unpalattable is the fact that he's a gun-fearing sissy boy.

The actor will wield 007's famous Walther PPK in the movie Casino Royale.

But he revealed in OK! magazine: "I hate handguns. Handguns are used to shoot people and as long as they are around, people will shoot each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a bullet wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Bullets have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."

A Bond that refuses his license to kill is about as good for nothing as...I can't even make a decent analogy, I'm so shocked at this gob-smackingly vile revelation.

This makes Ace's dire prediction look downright OK in comparison.