Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Singles Awareness Day

Here I sit, broken hearted,
Came to blog but barely started,

Out there came a rant and rave
To commemorate this crappy day.

Today marks the one year anniversary of this day last year. Surprise! I know it isn't just me that thinks this holiday is being far too commercialized and exploited. Why the fuck is it even a "holiday" - its more like just another "buy me something-iday". I mean, every other pop up ad I've gotten today is for something Valentine's Day related. I almost sent flowers to my ex-girlfriends just because the FTD.com ads were so persistent. It's getting to be ridiculous.

In my opinion, florists and jewelers are marginalizing the other businesses in the mall and overlooking a tiny little niche market this time of year - single people. By constant subjection to the same "Diamonds are forever..." and "...a heart shaped locket..." and "...but flowers mean he loves you..." stuff on the TV, radio, net and billboards, it drives singles into shopping hibernation. I wouldn't particularly want to go to the mall to pick up a CD or something, only to have to walk past 3 jewelry stores and dozens of happy couples. It's just mean. But, if they changed the outlook of the whole thing, it might cater to a bigger audience.... I'd send one of my girl friends a dozen roses if they came with a dozen longnecks, but otherwise...nah.

The thing about trying to be nice on Valentine's Day is the uncertainty of it all.

I just read somewhere that 50% of dating couples split up on V-Day (thats Valentines, not the Vagina Monologues, though I can't tell the difference). One Half. 50/100. That, my friends, makes me glad to be single today. To make a reservation in August, buy the flowers, dry clean the suit, detail the car, buy tickets to a play and carefully choreograph the whole thing takes a lot of work and emotional effort, only to have your girlfriend decide she hates men today because "...Sally at works boyfriend totally forgot to make reservations and......" WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO SUFFER BECAUSE OF SALLY'S INCOMPETENT BOOB! It takes too much out of you to put yourself up to such close scrutiny in an uncertain world.

Which, finally brings me to the culmination of my musing. V-Day is no longer a day about expressing your love for your boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband, significant other, mistress, etc. It has become a day to obsess over material goods and services and equate them to love. If you're anything like me, and you make your emotions and feelings known regularly, than today shouldn't be anything but another day. It's not. I have to prove something, according to the latest Zale's ad. Whatever...maybe it's hypocritical of me to say this now, after buying diamond earrings last V-Day. "Yeah, honey, those look great on you!" OF COURSE they do! They looked great in the fucking case too! Should leave them there, where they can roam free and frolick with the other diamonds.

So "happy" Singles Awareness Day. S.A.D. S-A-D -- think about that acronym. I can't even go to a decent bar tonight to have drinks with some of my friends because they'll be packed full of happy, smiling couples and couples that are on the verge of killing each other after tonight. I'm going to have to eat somewhere with a lighted menu and a drive thru because all of the decent places will be full of love and loathing. Enjoy yourselves - tomorrow, I take back the restaurants, with force if necessary.