Dept. of Righteous Shootings

It was about 7:30, and I woke up, and I sensed something next to me. I opened my eyes, and sitting there with the covers over his legs, I saw a middle-aged guy dressed like a king. He had a red robe and a crown, and he had this crazy grin on his face that never changed. And he was holding this little silver tray with a hot sandwich on it, made from a croissant and some ham and eggs.

I was totally freaked out, but that sandwich really looked good. So I reached for it, and he pulls it back and waggles his finger and shakes his head. And I was like, "WTF, dude? Give me the sandwich already." Then he takes his free hand and unzips his pants.

I grabbed the Glock off the nightstand and put a couple of rounds through his scrotum. When he passed out from loss of blood, I put a knife in his hand and called the cops.

Then I ate the sandwich.

Read the whole, disturbing, tale here. Follow up here.

Yuk it up, you sick bastard...

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