Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The Militant Middle

It has occured to me that there is likely no one that will agree with me 100% of the time. if they profess to do just that, they are likely a confederate with another purpose. In American politics, there isn't a single "party" that I agree with 100% of the time, or even on all the big issues. The extremes of both the Right and the Left both worry me, and I have found myself in a growing, new "middle America." Not a middle by income or geography, but middle as in the political spectrum. What my PoliSci prof would call a "Midway Moderate." Except, that's not quite right, either.

Being a moderate implies a certain lack of committment or passion for your views. I don't know why we're viewed that way, but I have found it to be true. Simply because I choose not to take a hard line, my opinions and views are marginalized by my would-be detractors. Enough. I latched on to the phrase "South Park conservative" for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that, in a short amount of time, being a SPC has become an acceptable political standpoint. It's easier to say SPC than to try and explain what kind of moderate one is.

Now here's where everybody gets pissed.

I hate Liberals. I really do. With a burning, passionate fire eminating from the nether regions of my soul, I want them to shut the fuck up. The inane, psychotic, psuedo-intellectual, egomaniacal Left is going to destroy this country someday.

But not on their own.

I hate right-wing whackos. Christian extremists and neo-Nazis make their homes on the far right of the political spectrum, and they can pretty much all die from syphillis, as far as I'm concerned. Really, people with skin pigment darker than chalk aren't that bad, and neither are the abortion clinics some of these whackos feel compelled to bomb. I hate you fuckers because as a white, middle-class, Bush-supporting male, I get lumped into the same category as you fucking Martians. Thats just not right.

The power struggle between these two groups is polarizing the country. People are more readily accepting the hard-line political ideologies that both sides espouse. As more and more people move toward the fringes, more are coming toward the center. And dammit, we don't like what you've done to our country. One of these days, the calm, logical voice of the reasoned middle will prevail.

So yeah, Liberals are a bunch of whiny douche bags, and far-right whackos can FOAD. I'm going to stay here in middle America, with my guns facing outwards (figuratively), hoping one side or the other doesn't screw things up permanently.

Just had to get that off my chest.